EU Says It Beat America In Rio
As the glitz of the Rio 2016 closing ceremony fades, I have some bad news for every American: in case you hadn't noticed, you didn't just come top of the Olympic gold medal table after all.
I know you were expecting to, and probably thought you did, but trust me you really didn't. I know this because I have consulted a European Union funded website called 'Medal Tracker' (www.medaltracker.eu). This group of experts have analysed all the results and concluded that... wait for it... the EU came top.
Apparently, the USA's paltry tally of 45 gold medals was no match for the mighty EU's whopping 106. The statistic used in north America of the total number of medals is even more striking, EU got 325 whereas the USA only managed 120.
Perhaps this is proof that the USA basically sucks, and the marvelous debt-ridden, dysfunctional, big government EU is (as usual) riding high. Perhaps...
The statistic is, of course, deeply unfair to the USA because the EU fields a total of 28 teams, one from each of its member states. That gives it 28 times as many chances to get medals, but if the Americans find the claim the EU won annoying imagine how it is viewed in Britain.
Over the last 30 years Team GB has normally been around 10th place, but in recent years has risen through the ranks. This year Britain came second, beating China, something that made Beijing fairly angry!
This medal achievement is now being claimed by the EU because they've added the UK to the total despite us voting to leave on June 23. Also, Brussels having done precisely nothing to help the elite athletes who competed for each member state.
The improvement in Britain's performance is actually due to the 1994 launch of a National Lottery to fund 'good causes', it now donates around $500m a year to sports clubs.
It is just so typical of the EU we have come to know and (not) love. Eurocrats claim credit for there having been no European war since 1945 casually ignoring the Yugoslav wars and the role of NATO. They even call the First and Second World Wars the first and second European Civil Wars.
During the referendum on Brexit they came out with some truly shocking lies, saying Britain's economy would melt without big brother Brussels. If we voted leave they said there would be a black-hole in the public purse of $50bn a year, leading to an 'austerity budget' hiking up income tax on every British worker.
They mocked our call for independence saying 'you believe you still have an empire' and constantly said we were too small to succeed on our own.
Well the difference between the EU and an independent Britain is stark: our success in the Olympics is genuine, theirs is imaginary.
But the results in these Olympics shows something else, a truth we are often unwilling to admit: the English speaking world is so much better than the rest.
Who really wants a weekend in Madrid when you could go to London, New York or Sydney. How many people would turn their nose up at a hamburger in favor of a bratwurst? Who wants to take Polish lessons when you can speak English? and where do you go for stable democratic governments?
Over the next few years, the world is going to change significantly because the effect of post-Brexit UK and a new man in the White House is going to change it. The EU can claim as many gold medals as it likes, but we all know the truth.
The question Americans should ask themselves at this election is: given the worlds our oyster, what do we want to do?
Walking away from the EU was an assertion by the British people that you can be anything you want, and coming second in the Olympics proved the assertion right.